I'm a teacher...

While stalking around on Facebook, I came across a group called, " Teachers call it 'the bathroom, we call it, 'I'm bored, I'm leaving'"...so true. I can't tell you how many times any one of my students come up to me during math, or literacy centers and ask if they can go to the bathroom! I know that they are just trying to get out of work. I know this because I used to do the same thing! I used to have bathroom passes, but they became ragged after many uses, so I threw them all away. Under the guise of, "my students are old enough to remember to go during recess", I was just too lazy to make new ones.
Here are a few antics that students are famous for...

1. Student says, "Oh, I get it now!", just so I will go away.
2. When the student pretends to think when I look at them.
3. Student says, "Teacher, you look really nice today." What student really means: I did something bad and I don't want her to get me in trouble.
4.When I leave the room and tell them to be quiet, I know they are having a rave. (Sometimes I stand outside my door and listen, or I peek in the window...)
5. I ask, "Why were you in the bathroom so long?", student answers, "I had diarrhea!" or my personal favorite, "I had a lot of poop!".
6. When I call on a student who has their hand raised, student pauses and then proceeds to say, "I forgot." You didn't forget...you just wanted to be called on. (This at first annoyed me, but now it sort of hurts my heart because I know they aren't getting enough attention...)
7. Whenever I say, "You may work with a partner...", students reach across their desk and touch their friend, or they look at their friend as if to say, "let's be partners". I hate this! They never listen to the rest of my instructions and inevitably I get students coming up to me asking me questions I already answered in my instructions!
8. One student whistles, or makes some noise, I say, "stop", student does it again to see what will happen...
9. Students will do anything for candy.
10. Any tiny little scrape requires a bandage...