Friday, July 9, 2010


I have been deciding what to write for some time now. It has been hard for me to come up with something intriguing. Sometimes I will be thinking about life before I fall asleep and will mention to myself that I ought to blog about it, except I have forgotten everything that I have thought to write about. I do however have something that I have been thinking about for awhile, not really for a blogging topic, but because of my lack of ideas, it passes.
Recently there has been a slew of television programming about OCD. A&E's Obsessed, VH1's OCD Project, and MTV's True Life: I have OCD. I am not sure why it has garnered so much attention, but it has mine. As I was watching over a period of a few days I started to notice something. Something scary. I was exhibiting obsessive compulsive tendencies in my own life. I started making a mental checklist in my head of everything that I do that qualifies.
Making sure that the computer sits straight on my desk. Check.
Not sitting on the bed after it is made so that it doesn't look wrinkled. Check.
Setting the pillows on the bed and couch so that the zippers are on the bottom. Check.
While these might seem minor in comparison to performing rituals and lock checking, it was obsessive compulsive none the less. I realized that my mind would focus on it until it was fixed. For example, I was walking down the hall the other day and I saw that the blanket on the bed was not even on both sides. I went into the office to do something else, but quickly turned around to fix the blanket. I had to fix it before anything else. It had to be PERFECT.
As I continued to watch these shows I made the choice that I was going to put myself through my own therapy. As these little moments of anxiety over something being out of place would occur, I would tell myself that I wasn't going to fix it, and that it was fine how it was. I did alright. But then I thought...what is so wrong with liking things perfect? I like the way it feels. I feel comfortable with a perfect home. I like how clean feels. I like how organization feels. I like the feeling of living in a showroom. I like straight lines, and minimalism. I like to clean. I like to keep things in perfect condition. I like having control over my environment. Is this bad? No. So you can call me uptight, and neat freak and obsessed. My answer to you? My house looks better than yours.

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