Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Goodbye

I have been avoiding having to write this for fear that it would be difficult and conjure up memories and feelings that I didn't want to think and feel and experience. I am of the mind to get hard things done and over with...so today is as a good a day as any to share this.
As silly and irrational has this may seem to non-pet owners, it is real to me. Last week we decided that it would be best to give Mischa Boy a better home. We realized that although we could love him and give him all the toys and treats in the world, we couldn't give him the time and free range that he deserved. He was getting rambunctious and playful and he needed room to run and be happy. We didn't want to make life miserable for our neighbor downstairs, who has been more than gracious and patient in putting up with a puppy.
Deep down I knew that giving him away would be best but I couldn't come to terms with giving him up and going through the heartache that it would cause. For a few days my heart and mind were uneasy. I felt unsettled. I didn't want to part ways with something that I loved so much because I didn't want to feel sad. I couldn't bear the thought of Mischa being confused and scared because we were not there.
Once I decided that it was best to give him away, I said lots of prayers that he would go to a good home where they would be loving and understanding. I also prayed that we could find him a home quickly because we were going out of town and I didn't want him to be boarded only to have us then take him somewhere else, but also because I knew I couldn't enjoy my vacation knowing that something so unpleasant awaited me at home.
We posted the add on Wednesday night. Thursday morning we got two phone calls from people that were interested in having him. The first phone call was from a woman that had a backyard and a young family and everything sounded so promising. As it was one of my last days of school, Michael took Mischa to work and dealt with all the phone calls. The woman said that she would stop by his shop later to see him, but that she really wanted him. I was excited, but while at work, Michael got a phone call from a man that said that they had just lost their dog who was very similar in temperament to Mischa and that he wanted him. He stopped by the shop and saw Mischa, he also even invited Michael over for lunch to see his house so that we could approve and trust that he was going somewhere good. I felt so good about this guy and so did Michael, but we had to wait because we gave preference to the first caller. This is where I believe a tender mercy from the Lord comes into play. This woman, although everything sounded really good about her and her situation, I didn't want Mischa to go there, I wanted him to go with this man and his family. It turned out that the woman wasn't able to make it because things kept coming up for her not allowing her to come at the times she had previously said. So Michael told her we were sorry but that we needed to give him away today and that someone else was able to take him.
I was at school this whole time but I knew I wanted to see Mischa one more time. I waited around nervously for and hour or so until the man showed up. When he finally did come, he seemed so nice and was so kind. He told me that he and his family would love Mischa forever. I knew he was going somewhere safe and happy.
I miss him so much, but I know that he is in a place where he is safe and happy and well cared for. I know that Heavenly Father answered my prayers. I know that something so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things was important enough to Him to have Him answer my prayers. I know that Heavenly Father loves all of his creations, big or small, and that He loves me. He made it easier for me to go through something that was heartbreaking and life-changing. I know that I was supported through this hard time. It was a great opportunity for me to strengthen my testimony of prayer.  I am grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord.
I miss Mischa, I always will, but I know that he is happy. Goodbye Mischa, thank you for bringing us experiences of learning and happiness.

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