I had a revelation about myself today. I don't know why I am just noticing this...or maybe I have noticed it all along but didn't want to admit it out of justification, but it was that I am so quick to my emotion of anger. I don't let things stew or simmer for awhile...I boil right away. In my haste to be angry at every wrong turn against me, I usually feel this sense of vindication, and the pitiful and sick part of it all is that I enjoy it. My defense weapons of choice? My sharp tongue and a cold shoulder.
I know my mother knows all about this. When I was younger, I could have argued with her all day. Usually it was about the dumbest, most lame sauce of reasons, but contending was my game. Am I proud of this? No. Absolutely not.
So why the revelation today?
Maybe I will find out tomorrow, or the next day.
But yeah, yikes.
I better change.
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